Wednesday, September 14, 2005

You might be a Redneck Jedi if...

These kinds of jokes have been around since long, long ago. I've got gobs of them on my jokes page. Here are some updates inspired by Episode I:
  • you've got a rolled-up attack droid half-buried in your front yard ... and you've painted it white.
  • you think it's OK to use Federation landing craft to flush game.
  • you've ever used your lightsaber to gig Gungans.
  • you've ever said, "It's about damn TIME Amidala got married! Hell, she's nearly FIFTEEN!"
  • you think Watto's Junkyard is an upscale establishment.
  • you started hitting on offworld women before hitting puberty.
  • you've ever borrowed a starship and then tried to pawn it to bet on a race.
  • you've got at least one racing pod up on blocks in your yard.
  • your favorite pod racer's name is "Dale".
  • you think "Demolition Pod Racing" is the next big sport.
  • you've ever left the body panels off your protocol droid because, "I'd just have to take 'em off again to adjust somethin'."
  • you've ever been told your midichlorians are off the scale and you responded, "yeah, I thought I was weighin' in a little light."
  • you've ever used a double-barreled lightsaber.
  • you've ever bagged a Sith Lord and then bragged about the number of points he had on his rack.
And from Episode 2:
  • you've ever hopped on a camera droid to take a joy ride.
  • you're in a bar in Coruscant and somebody offers you some stim sticks and you say, "No thanks, I'll stick with the Marlboros."
  • you think that Dex's diner is an upscale restaurant.
  • you think Dex's waitress is hot... for a droid.
  • you break off a chase to have a beer in a Coruscant bar.
  • you've ever taken your classy girlfriend to a shaak pasture on a date.
  • you think that shaak tipping makes a pretty good date.
  • you're so inbred that all your relatives share EXACTLY the same DNA.
  • you think Jango's a wuss 'cause he doesn't carry enough guns.
  • your name is "Bubba Fett".
Still workin' on Episode 3.

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