I've been laid up for the last couple of days. Here's the cause of my pain:
Cute, isn't she, sitting there with her little cracker. Her name is Cuddles. She's not mine, but belongs to a houseguest. Cuddles was down in the basement screaming her head off last Sunday, and I thought, "The poor thing is lonely. I'll bring her upstairs so she can sit on her perch and have some company." Pretty damned nice of me. Sadly, my wife's idiot dog was a little too happy to see the bird; the bird became agitated; bit a hole in the knuckle of my right index finger and then sliced through the artery in my left thumb. I dropped the bird, which sent the dog running, and the very agitated cockatoo began to bite at my toes. Naturally I wound up falling over, just trying to avoid kicking and killing an animal worth about $1500. This injured my spine (I've already got a bulging disk and it doesn't take much effort to mess it up.)
I left Cuddles on the floor and went off to lock the dog away and staunch the flow of my blood. Then I assembled a large cage that we'd had on the back porch (it was prepared for painting, but I needed it immediately. Returning with leather gloves, I managed to get the still agitated cockatoo into the cage, but not before she took another bite out of my right forearm.
So there she is, locked away. She sidles up to the bars, cocks her head at me and says, "I love you!"
Now, none of this was the bird's fault. It was an exhuberant dog that got her agitated and fearful. Nevertheless, an hour or so later my back started to swell and I spent the next three days on my back. Well, I tried to work on-site Monday, but that was really, really stupid. Bottom line... I'm behind schedule.
OH, YEAH, I should mention that Cuddles is for sale (and not because of this incident... her owner just needs the cash). Cuddles is normally quite nice. She's got a really good vocabulary, including the usual, "Hello", "I love you", and "Pow, Pow, shoot that cat!" She loves company and is happiest in a room filled with talking people. But you do have to be careful of what you say... she's been known to pick up a word after hearing it once.