Wednesday, May 23, 2012

Scotty or La Forge?

Jules Sherred asked the question, "Scotty or La Forge? Why?"

Well, the answer is obviously, "Scotty". I started listing reasons, and it's now become something of a mini-meme for me. So here are a few, and feel free to add yours in comments.

  1. They actually did appear together, and even though 75 years out of the loop, Scotty STILL took Geordi's butt to school on transporter, impulse engine AND deflector shield theory.
  2. Scotty's a miracle worker.
  3. Geordi quoted impulse engine specs. Scotty wrote them.
  4. Scotty could sport a kilt with nary a trace of embarrassment.
  5. Scotty rocked the bagpipes.
  6. Scotty could rule the Center Seat as easily as he ruled Engineering
  7. Scotty was a badass. 
    1. Quote: "Diplomats! The best diplomat I know is a fully activated phaser bank." ( A Taste of Armageddon)
    2. Quote: "The Enterprise takes no orders, except those of Captain Kirk. And if you make any attempt to board or commandeer the Enterprise, it will be blown to bits along with as many of you as we can take with us." (The Enterprise Incident)  
    3. Quote: "You mind your place, mister, or you'll be wearing concrete galoshes." (A Piece of the Action)
  8. Never once in his career did La Forge utter something as cool as, "there be whales here!"
  9. Geordi drank "synthahol" (ugh). Scotty drank whiskey.
  10. Scotty could drink an Andromedan under the table (and did!)
  11. Scotty managed to drink the hard stuff without ever going blind.
  12. Scotty started a bare-fisted barroom brawl with Klingons rather than allow the name of his Enterprise to be besmirched.
  13. Geordi started out as a navigator: Scotty was born an engineer.
  14. The first thing the infant Scotty did was bypass the flow regulators on his mother's teats.
  15. Scotty dated flesh-and-blood women and risked his life for them (romantic!): Geordi fell in love with a program (pathetic!)
  16. Scotty faced off with a god. (Who Mourns for Adonis)
  17. Step out of line and Scotty will beam your ass into space. Wide dispersal.
  18. Scotty invented transwarp beaming. Trust me, it's cool: "The notion of transwarp beaming is like trying to hit a bullet with a smaller bullet, whilst wearing a blindfold, riding a horse." Yet, he does it.
  19. Scotty canna break the laws of physics... but he's found a few new ones to play with.
  20. Scotty keeps the formula for transparent aluminum in his head.
  21. Scotty can beam a life-form from one planet to another... and someday they'll find that beagle and prove it!
  22. Sybok couldn't take Scotty's pain... because Scotty doesn't feel any.
  23. The Enterprise-D took five minutes to get stuck in an alien Dyson sphere... it took Scotty to get them out.


  1. Scotty knew how to get rid of rapidly reproducing environmental pests which were devouring all of a ships food supplies. And I am sure that in so doing there was no tribble at all...

    1. Scotty Knows the Enterprise like the back of his hand.

  2. After being locked in a transporter diagnostic loop for 75 years, Scotty STILL makes a play for the hot red headed doctor.

    Scotty can fix the warp drive, even with a tool that is calibrated to the wrong polarity.

    Scotty can take raw dilithium crystals from a necklace and get the warp drive AND phasers operational.

    Scotty stays on the job, even after Kirk fires him.

    Klingon food packs give Scotty a sour stomach.

    Scotty can completely rebuild a Klingon Bird of Prey, while in exile, and even redesign the bridge.

    Scotty is happiest when there is stuff to fix.

    Scotty fought Jack the Ripper. And won.

    A technical journal is considered light bathroom reading for Scotty.

    Scotty can get a shuttlecraft powered back up, using just hand phasers.

    Scotty phasered the assassin in part 6.

    Scotty can automate a Constitution class refit so that a cadet trainee and 2 monkeys could operate it.

    Scotty single handedly disabled the newest, fastest Starfleet ship, in just a matter of minutes.

    "It's green"

  3. "Scotty phasered the assassin in part 6."

    True. In "The Undiscovered Country", Scotty not only saved the life of the Federation president at the Khitomer peace conference, he put the assassin (Colonel West) through a plate-glass window.

    1. James Doohan "Scotty" has actually made it into space (twice) more times than Levar Burton EVER will.

  4. Addition...James Doohan was DEAD both times.

  5. Scotty always keeps everything in shape when Kirk asks him to.
    Scotty got more fame from one line then La Forge has from all his lines.
    Scotty sabotaged a Star Fleet ship for his comrades.
    James Doohan saved a fan from committing suicide.