Tuesday, November 28, 2017

Sponsored Cats

How can you turn down that face? Seriously!
One of my cats has had a litter of kittens, and they're now old enough to unload drown find loving homes for.

I spent some time at work today doing just that, without much success. Apparently, the world is filled with cat haters.

As the rejections mounted up, my "sales pitch" became more aggressive. For instance:

"Each cat is free to a good home... or you can have all three for 30% off."

"Dog owner? No problem! These kittens are delicious!"

Finally, having simply given up in my mind, I tried this one:

"For just pennies a day, you can sponsor a cat in my home. In return for your donation, you will receive a picture of 'your' cat along with its name, birthday, and other vital statistics; video updates sent to your smart phone; and your cat will write to you once a month. What better way to 'own' a cat without having the fuss and bother of feeding it, cleaning up after it, or risking exposure to potentially dangerous allergens?"

I swear to God in Heaven above, I did NOT expect that to work.

I got three takers right off the bat.


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